Another Day, Another Blog

March 23, 2007

Shallow thoughts

Filed under: ficlet, humour, random, the joy of life — iamza @ 8:00 am

1) Ruminations are over-rated. It is possible to think too deeply and too critically about mundane trivialities — often precluding the realization that life is passing you by.

2) Despite what The Matrix would have us believe, sometimes a spoon is just a spoon.

3) A tale of two chickens

Two chickens were standing by the side of the road. Chicken A looked at the vast expanse of tarmac before them, then reached into his backpack, and pulled out his brand new laptop.

Chicken B watched curiously for a moment. “So, what are you doing?”

Chicken A, typing furiously, didn’t look up. “I’m writing a quick script that will tell me how long it’s going to take me to cross that road.”

Chicken B glanced at the road, and then looked back at Chicken A. “Why don’t you just run across it, and time yourself?”

“Because if I do it this way, I can find a way to do it with optimal efficiency,” said Chicken A, then added derisively, “But, hey, if you want to run it, don’t let me stop you. Go, knock youself out.”

Chicken B stiffened, and took a step back. “Fine,” he said, and reached into his backpack to pull out a stopwatch. “I’ll do just that.” He shook out his legs and flapped his wings, kicking up some dust.

“Watch it!” Chicken A squawked, “You’re getting dust all over my brand new machine! What are you doing, anyway?”

“Warming up.” Chicken B was unperturbed. “If I’m going to take my best shot at this, I need to be physically prepared.” He flapped his wings one last time, then leaned forward, left wing over knee.

A shadow racing towards them caught Chicken A’s eye. “Uh–”  

“Ready?” Chicken B clicked the stopwatch, “Here I go!” And he launched himself onto the road.

“No, wa–!” cried out Chicken A, but it was too late. Chicken B had already been squashed by the car.

Chicken A looked for a moment at the forlorn pile of feathers that had once been his friend, and then turned back to his laptop. “Always too eager,” he clucked sadly, and got back to his code.

After an hour of experimentation, and a dozen plots, Chicken A was sure he’d found the optimal speed with which to cross the road. He sighed, clambered to his feet, and packed his laptop away.

“Okay, let’s do this.” Beak raised determinedly, he walked to the edge of the tarmac. He checked, then checked again, that there were no cars. And then, with a whistle, he jogged onto the road.

“I’m doing it! It’s working!” His beak widened in an excited grin, as the sand on the other side of the road drew ever closer. “I’m nearly there!”

And then, with one final step, he was on the other side the road. “Yes! I did it,” he crowed, dancing cockily about. “I crossed the road!”

Unfortunately, Chicken A was so excited by his great achievement,  that he didn’t notice the eighteen-wheeler pulling off the road for a rest break until it was far too late.

Moral of the story: Fools rush in where chickens fear to tread Look both ways before you cross the road Coding only gets you so far Crowing gets you killed Chickens and roads don’t mix.

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