Another Day, Another Blog

March 12, 2007


Filed under: ficlet, the joy of life — iamza @ 3:29 pm

A cosmic alarm clock sounded. The universe snorted, and groggily cracked open a wormhole with which to regard its surroundings. Light from all the stars shorted out the universe’s still half-asleep synapses, causing the wormhole to sputter open and closed a dozen times.

“Gah,” the universe muttered–somewhat inelegantly–in a low-level burst of background radiation. “Is it that space-time already?”

The wormhole widened significantly, sucking in a minor galaxy or three, and making the universe blink as the dust clogged up its tear ducts. A whoosh of  dark matter streamed out of a white hole, destroying another four galaxies in the process.

The cosmic alarm buzzed again, sending ripples through the universal gravitational field, and resetting about sixteen different physical constants at the same time. Somewhere near Budapest, a physicist who’d finally unlocked the deepest secrets of quantum gravity jumped off a cliff when he realized his life’s work was for naught.

There was a moment of silence as the universe pondered its current situation. It sighed in a burst of ultra-high intensity gamma radiation, and effectively killed off all life on nineteen different planets, including Earth. 

Just before he was fatally irradiated, President Rex turned to his wife, Tyranna, and said, “You know, Mondays really suck.”


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